Build a strong relationship with your public if you want to win

We interact with brands as if they were people. And the more we learn about how the human brain works, the more this finding makes sense. Our brains evolved to establish relationships with other human beings—not with ideas or logos. This simple truth has strategic consequences for anyone building a personal brand.

David Aaker, one of the foundational scholars in brand strategy, introduced the idea that brands function like people in the minds of consumers. His daughter, Jennifer Aaker, developed this further by demonstrating that people attribute personality traits to brands in ways that mirror human relationships. She identified recurring dimensions of brand personality such as sincerity, competence, and excitement, among others: a clear proof that we perceive brands socially, not abstractly.

Kevin Lane Keller reinforces this view when he explains that most of a brand’s power resides at the emotional level. And emotions, as we know, are not isolated feelings. They are the building blocks of human relationships.

So if we treat brands like people and respond to them emotionally, what does this mean for your personal brand?

It means that relationships are not a metaphor. They are real. And they must be managed with strategic clarity.

A model of real relationships between a personal brand and its public

In my framework, a personal brand doesn’t just stand out by being visible or differentiated. It becomes powerful when it establishes deliberate, meaningful relationships with its audience—both collectively and individually.

• At the collective level, a personal brand creates social relationships. These are about presence and shared meaning. You’re not just connecting to individuals; you’re helping those individuals relate to each other. Think of how a thought leader or public figure can build a community around ideas, values, or aspirations. The brand becomes a connector. As an example, my friend Mercè Brey, who is a thought leader in leadership and inclusivity is the glue that unite many people around the values she promotes.
• At the individual level, a personal brand creates personal relationships. These are about value exchange. Every message, gesture, offer, or interaction becomes a moment of exchange between your identity and the inner world of the person who receives it. This is the level where trust is built and loyalty is earned.

But not all relationships are equal. Based on my experience and work with clients, I propose a model with four levels of relationship—each corresponding to a different type of interaction between your personal brand and your audience. There is no hierarchy in these levels in terms of the value they generate. Each level can be strategically valid and powerful depending on your goals. However, each level builds upon the previous one: you cannot establish a relationship at the level of affection if you have not first met the basic conditions of attention. The structure is cumulative even if it is not hierarchical.

1. Attention

This is the lowest level of relationship, where the brand is simply noticed. The value offered is generic, and the response from the audience is opportunistic. There is no real bond. In personal branding, this is the territory of mass visibility with no traction: you're seen, but not remembered, not desired, not chosen. You are operating as a commodity: chosen for convenience, visibility, or price, not for who you are or what you uniquely represent. This is the condition of many personal brands operating on platforms like Fiverr, where creatives compete in marketplaces governed by algorithms. In these environments, clients usually discover them through impersonal search, and decisions are based on price, ratings, or delivery time rather than any deeper connection or value alignment.

2. Affection

At this level, the brand is recognised for its competence and differentiated offer. There is an appreciation of the value you deliver, but still little emotional investment. The audience sees you as useful but interchangeable. You are respected, but not followed. This is a very common situation and refers to the majority of professionals who compete on their skills and abilities. They try to demonstrate that they are the best performers in their field, and they engage with their audience by highlighting the features of their offer and their individual performance. The conversation tends to revolve around the brand itself, not around the people it serves. To operate effectively at this level, a personal brand must convey genuine excellence that is both perceived as relevant and consistently cultivated over time. Innovation and competitive pricing can strengthen this position, but they must support a deeper promise of consistent value and competence.

3. Appreciation

Here, the brand connects emotionally. You show empathy, you resonate with people’s aspirations, doubts, or needs. The relationship becomes sticky, even if it’s not yet defining. At this level, the audience starts to feel something towards your brand. They are no longer just customers, followers or readers—they begin to relate. This is the level where many coaches in different fields operate. A meaningful personal connection is established and a bond begins to take shape. At this level, the brand shows that it listens and responds. Empathy becomes essential, as does the ability to adapt to shifts in the emotional landscape and evolving expectations of the audience. What matters is not only being understood, but demonstrating that you understand and care.

4. Acceptance

This is the highest level. At this point, the relationship is identitary. People see your personal brand as a reflection of who they are—or who they want to become. Your values, vision and presence help them position themselves in the world. This is not fandom. It’s alignment. And it is the most powerful relational asset a personal brand can build. Professionals who establish their relationship with the public through a shared worldview or set of values operate at this level. Paul Polman, former CEO of Unilever, and Yvon Chouinard, founder of Patagonia, are emblematic figures whose personal brands reflect deep alignment with ethical and visionary principles. Mercè Brey, whom I mentioned earlier, also embodies this level of connection. It is a powerful form of relationship, but one that requires consistent alignment and integrity to be sustained over time. The case of Elon Musk is a cautionary example: once admired for his commitment to innovation and sustainability, he provoked a wave of criticism and alienation when he shifted his public stance toward a politically libertarian agenda. At this level, any perceived incoherence can quickly unravel the emotional and identitary bond that has been carefully built.

Relationships must be designed

This model is not a ladder you are supposed to climb. Not every personal brand needs to aim for acceptance. What matters is being intentional. If you know the kind of relationship you want to build, you can shape your strategy accordingly.

Many personal brands fail not because they are invisible, but because they are relationally incoherent. They want to be admired but communicate functionally. They want loyalty but act transactionally. They seek community but cultivate individual performance.

The takeaway is this: relationship is a layer of your personal brand. You cannot opt out. Whether you acknowledge it or not, your brand is already creating a relationship with your audience. The question is whether that relationship serves your purpose or undermines it.